Truly, yesterday was a lovely day. I worked on my HQH nametag -- finished it, even, and then piddled around the house doing little things here and there. Todd & I went out to dinner to lawn corn stay cows; I'd really been wanted some red meat. Then we went to Family Christian, Office Max, Best Buy and Gander Mountain. Too bad there aren't any quilting shops open at 8:00 on a Friday night, or we'd have stopped there, too!

Monday is the big day (or should I say, the start of "littler" days)! Todd keeps talking about it like it's the beginning of the end. He's got to stop looking at it that way.

Today is a big day for the piano -- it's getting a new home! Evan is coming to pick it up this afternoon. I have no idea what I'll put in its space. Maybe NOTHING!

I had a pretty bad asthma attack last night. And then, of course, I had a reaction to the albuterol. It's so weird. Not to mention annoying. Ugh.

I have a SS lesson and a Wednesday night lesson to prepare for today, plus I need to grocery shop. Other than that, the day is mine.

Carpe diem!

:)

I love Fridays when I don't have to work. Or rather, I love *all* Fridays; but particularly those on which I do not work!

Last night I attended my first Heritage Quilters of Huntsville Guild meeting as a _member_! Whoohoo! Today I took advantage of my time off and quilted my nametage for the meetings. Fun stuff. I'm pleased with everything except for the name. Ugh. I should have just left well enough alone, but I rarely can do that. C'est la vie. Anyhoo, the speaker last night was Flavin Glover, who's the bomb.com in log cabin quilting. She had two in particular that truly captivated me -- one of grazing sheep and their babies, and one of winter evergreens. Both were quite beautiful and I'd like to somehow (on a smaller scale) duplicate them. I bought her book and she autographed it for me. :)

Jocelyn is home for a long Easter weekend, and James and Kim made it in late last night from Disney. All of my chillens are in town (even if they don't all live under my roof any more). The cats are draped over assorted blankets, snoozing, and Todd is mowing the lawn. I did a Jane tape this morning, and I'm rather in need of a shower!

Todd and I are going to have at it again on the dieting. The start date is Monday. Written covenant and everything.

Shower time!

Vaya con Dios!

:)

It's official. I'm a mother-in-law. Wow, and I'm so *young* too! :)

Today, things are my own. All of our out-of-town guests are gone, and most have even arrived at their own homes by now! Laura & her crew are still on the road, but they were planning on doing a little sightseeing in the process of making their way home.

James has managed to text me several times and call me once or twice. It's so funny....whenever he went on a camp or youth trip, I had to _tell_ him to give me call once or twice. Then he goes on his honeymoon and I don't *expect* to hear from him, and he calls me out of the blue. For some advice, no less! I love my boy.

Today will be a quiet day. A little laundry...some leftover Chinese and perhaps even Mexican....an old movie or two or three....perhaps even some quilting! Tomorrow I go to work and do payroll, and then Friday I'm off again for a long weekend. Lovely.

My son is a married man. Wow again.

Perhaps I'm not as young as I'm thinking I was.... !

Buh-bye!

:)

Good gravy, where has the time gone? I seem to say that a lot these day! The last time I posted in October 2007, I noted how fast the month had gone -- here we now are in March of 2008! How fast my LIFE is flying by!

I can hardly believe that James marries in less than two weeks. I'm happy for him, but I'm also...going to be praying for him/them a lot. This is a huge step for the maturist of folks. I believe James will handle the responsibility of being the head of a home well -- but it may take a while to work out the kinks!

As if that wasn't enough, Jocelyn is graduating from college in two months! Shoot, and she turns 22 in less than a week! I'm so proud of her and all that she's accomplished. I know it bothers her just a little that James is marrying first -- but I think she recognizes that her path is *her* path, and it's the right way for her. Besides, she also knows that her future husband is right there...and someday in the near future, he's going to propose!

Top it all off with [side note here: I never know whether to say, "Todd's ministry" or "our ministry". It's really Todd's baby, and I'm in it for support; clerical, sounding board, graphic design, encouragement, whatever. We are doing it together, but it's truly his calling. I still don't know which to say!] the ministry. Brochures and business cards are printed; labels are set up and ready to go -- one big mass mailing and we're out there! It's incredibly exciting! But just a little scary, too. It's wild to step out in faith like this! I so admire my husband and his desire to press forward.

I can't wait for my whole family to be here in a short week and a half! Fun, fun, fun!! Lots to do in the meantime, though. Glad things are settling down. ??? What am I saying?!?!

On that note...ciao!

:)

So goes the month of October . . .

I cannot believe how fast this month has gone by -- although I guess I should really be surprised since this is the tenth month in a row I've made that comment. 2007, what's your hurry??

I'm so enjoying my ladies Sunday school class. I've got the best group of women; they are so determined to walk in relationship with Jesus. It's so exciting to see! They are, for the most part, passionate about truly knowing God's Word. It is such a blessing for me!

God, I love You!

:)

Good grief.



Okay, so at least I'm consistent in my inconsistent blogging! :)

I am reading (again) a book called Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. Awesome, incredible, Bible-based book. I'm enjoying it, because it reveals how being a godly wife is all about me and my relationship with God, and has nothing to do with how good or bad a husband I have. Wow. Something I read today really stuck. Debi writes: A man cannot cherish a strong woman who expresses her displeasure of him. You can say that he should model Christ's love regardless of how she acts. Is that what you want? Is it what Christ wants? Do you want your husband to be forced to seek supernatural power just to find a way to love you? Again I say, WOW! If that is not a humbling, convicting statement, I don't know what is.

I'm also preparing for Sunday's lesson. We've just started using a new curriculum from Lifeway -- MasterWork. Interestingly enough, it's based on books by two authors I really respect -- Adrian Rogers and Randy Alcorn. The first lesson is fascinating - it should be interesting to see how the class responds. I'm looking forward to teaching!

Adieu!

:)

Jocelyn & I had fun yesterday evening. It's nice to be able to spend some one-on-one time with her before she heads back for her final semester. We were laughing so hard in Target, it was hard to make it down the aisles! I'm sure our goofiness turned some heads. I pretty much bought her whatever it was she wanted/needed. My thinking is, when you can, you can. Last night I could.

The horror of the bridge tragedy is still very overwhelming. The video clip of the bridge collapsing is like some out of a movie scene.

My friend and co-worker is still in the hospital after having surgery for a broken hip. She is being treated very poorly by hospital staff and I don't understand it. Unfortunately, a nurse was killed as she walked the crosswalk to the hospital during the week, and I'm sure it devastated staff. However, there can't be a complete loss of care to those patients in the care of the hospital. I'm so angry.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that God is in control of all things. He is certainly big enough to handle it all. It's up to me to *faithfully* lift it up to Him, and to trust His will and wisdom. For me, it's a case of "easier said than done." Not that I can't do it, I just have to get to the point where I remember that's what I'm supposed to do.

Lord, how I thank You that You ARE in control. You hold Lola, the victims of the bridge collapse, Jay and his family, the people effected by the flooding in South Asia -- You hold all of that in Your mighty hands. Your word teaches that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Lord, I pray that You will allow me to act accordingly. To lift those to You who need strength and hope right now. To trust You in each situation. To remember for Whom I was created. Where I can, allow me to be salt & light - a reflection of Your love. And allow me to give You praise and honor in all things. In the precious name of Jesus --

Amen.

:)

Obligatory post! Just kidding. Well, sorta. It has been a very long time since I posted. I've got no excuse except for a touch of laziness, and a hectic life. My son has become engaged and is planning on marrying in March, 2008. My daughter is heading back to school for her senior year, and will graduate from college on May 10. My children and husband have been/or are going to China and Africa and Montana on mission trips. Work is crazy and instead of the 28/32 hours a week I typically work, I've been working 48/52 hours.

Life is crazy!

When our new Sunday School year started in May, I left my youth girls and went back up to adult ladies. I'm teaching our youngest adult ladies class, which is absolutely wonderful!

My dream right now is to someday own a B&B. While we were in Virginia this summer, I found a home that would have converted beautifully (and with very little effort) into a superb B&B. I'm almost heartbroken that it's not a home I can just buy and do with what I want! It was just perfect. My heart hurts just a little ... just a tiny bit ... that the beautiful old home won't be mine.

Today is Friday! It's time to get ready for work and get this day on the road!

Adios!

1. Rejoice always;
2. Pray without ceasing;
3. In everything, give thanks (for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus);
4. Do not quench the Spirit;
5. Do not despise prophetic utterances;
6. Hold fast to that which is good; and
7. Abstain from every form of evil.

It occurs to me that, if I held up every decision / word / action / thought / deed against these seven premises; if I inspected every possible motive against these godly characteristics, I'd more easily align my life with the truth of God's word.

Rejoice always. Regardless of circumstance or situation. Not "be happy," but rejoice!! I can rejoice no matter how sad or angry I am feeling, because God is sovereign and He is in control. And I know that He has a purpose.

Pray without ceasing. Communicate with God continuously! Remembering, of course, that communication is a two-way street. I've got to _listen_ to God, as well as talk to Him.

In everything give thanks! (emphasis added) EVERYTHING! How? By faith. Why? Because it's God's will for me to do so! How can I become embittered, or prideful, or envious, when I'm thanking God for His good & perfect will, in everything?!

Do not quench the Spirit. Don't ignore that inner prompting, that still, small voice. God's Holy Spirit directs and guides our steps on that narrow path. Ignoring that prompting hardens our hearts, and our ability to hear that voice, effectively quenching the Spirit. God says, "Don't do it."

Do not despise prophetic utterances. Good gravy, what?!? First of all, what are utterances, and how do we know if they're prophetic? Utterance is the act of uttering; vocal expression. Prophetic would refer to the ability to foretell events, by supernatural intervention. In other words, when a child of God comes to you in a spirit of love, and points out that a behavior of yours *will have* damaging consequences, don't despise the utterer. Rejoice that God has seen fit to warn you of a behavior or choice which does not line up with His will!

Hold fast to that which is good! One Scripture perfectly defines this command: Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8.

Abstain from every form of evil. I think I prefer how the King James Version translates this particular point. Abstain from all appearance of evil (the emphasis is mine). Don't even allow your actions to mimic or to appear as if you were doing evil. No only must we guard against doing evil, but we need to guard against our actions appearing evil to others. Especially non-believers, and babes in the faith, so as not to damage our testimony, nor to hinder theirs.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22. A beautiful synopsis for living a Christ-centered life.

Selah!

I sometimes wonder why I bother making "stand firm" statements here -- I have such a struggle living up to them!

The study in Daniel is going incredibly well. I love Bible history, so a lot of the historical significance is not new to me. The spiritual implications and insights, however, are bowling me over!

I could so very easily be a Babylonian. (In the context of the study, I mean.) I really struggle with materialistic wants and images. How do I reconcile wanting my home to look nice and be pleasant, and not wanting things? Or, even worse, wanting (cough, cough -- coveting) what my neighbor has? STRUGGLE! The appearance part (self-appearance) could be more of an issue, but sometimes I'm so discouraged about my weigh (and total lack of control there), that it's easier NOT to worry about my appearance! Talk about convoluted.

We're well into the week 5 study. I love that God uses these studies to reveal areas I haven't given over to Him, and to draw me nearer and nearer to Him. How lucky am I that He loves me so?

Blessed. Indeed.

Selah!

:)

This is going to be an incredible study, of this I have no doubt. I've always enjoyed Beth Moore's style of teaching; her sense of humor and more especially, her passion for Jesus. This study will be different from any of hers I've done before, because it is session driven -- the homework stems from the video session, instead of vice versa. Personally, *I* like the set-up. She made some awesome points yesterday; I left the session feeling incredibly convicted!

We talked about viewing Daniel's Babylon figuratively -- as a way of thinking, or an attitude. To that end, Isaiah 47:10 sums it up, "...I am and there is no one besides me." Self-absorption and complete over-indulgence. Certainly, an attitude of Babylon prevails in the west!

One thought that struck me particularly was this: If I am not doing everything possible to keep from being indoctrinated by "Babylon," I already am.

Wow. I think about how as a family we've struggled with worldly music, TV, movies, clothing, and other worldly influences, and I understood just why it was so important. Keeping that mindset of separation enables us to live in the world without being a part of the world. It doesn't take much.

Another thing she said that sticks with me is, "I believe I won't." Based on 1 Corinthians 6:12, which (paraphrased) is that all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Believers need to pray for godly discernment so that they can say "I believe I won't," to those things which are permissible, but not beneficial.

To that end, Beth Moore challenged us to do something Daniel-like. Daniel refused to eat from the king's table. I don't believe this was a sacrifice, but more a decision to NOT. Beth is giving up rich meats and challenged us to do the same or something similar. I want to give up something to which God would say, yeah, you can, but it's not beneficial to you. I am praying that God will quickly illuminate that something for me!

Exciting days.

Hola!

Tonight starts our Sunday edition of the Beth Moore Bible study on Daniel. I'm very excited. I *miss* being in a small group with other women. I have a hunger. I will try very hard to keep up with the study and journal it here. I'd like to be able to read back through my thought processes, once it's finished. It's being facilitated by Jamie Bell, and I'm looking forward to that, as well.

We sang this morning, oh did we worship! Two back-to-back "builders" as Todd calls 'em. What a great morning of praise and worship! I'm so thankful to have a Minister of Music of Brother Pat's caliber! He pushes us! It certainly was good to be in the house of the Lord this morning!

SELAH!

:)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Today was a nice change of pace; Todd and I walked together, outside. It was a beautiful morning for it! Only one car passed us, and while we heard several dogs, nary a one came chasing after us. Just lovely! We waited until 7, so all the school traffic was out of the way, and evidently, most of the commuter traffic was gone too. Very nice. If I can convince him to do that every third day, it would be *great*!!

Then, I was very convicted about questioning my husband's integrity. I went to him and asked his forgiveness. It would have been very easy to have said nothing, but it was so utterly wrong of me. I should have championed him, instead of letting my pride get in the way, and questioning his judgment.

And the craziness begins. This weekend marks the beginning of our craziness: James and I both working three jobs; Julia and her family coming to stay with us for a week; Jocelyn's play and all that stuff; my birthday; our weekend away . . . manic! On top of all that, I start directing Children's Choir this weekend, we're painting the living room, MOPs starts up, and there's the Women's Annual Bake-Off! I hope I survive!

God? Where would you have me serve *You* today?

Ciao!

:)

Thanks, God. I *know* I could not have done the treadmill this morning without You! It was so stinking early!

James needs to be getting up soon. But I wanted to share how good God is, even in things like "30 minutes on the treadmill" -- He's faithful to assist when I opting to be obedient. The thing is, why do I get it in some areas, but not in others? I'm so _stubborn_.

Joshua 1:1-18 is where we are this week in Sunday ... er, excuse me ... Cross Training. The passing of the mantle of responsibility from Moses to Joshua. I imagine Joshua was pretty overwhelmed with the task. I wonder why it was passed to Joshua and not Caleb?

The key verses, to me, are 1:8-9: Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. !!!

No small task -- but pretty simple instructions. Let's see where my instructions come from today: Luke 20:1-8. Do I appreciate the authority under which I am placed? Do I understand that it comes from the LORD, Most High? I forget, a LOT, that I'm His. I need to re-commit to that *every* morning.

Lord, I'm Yours. I need Your protection. I need Your presence. I need You to empower me to be all that You would have me to be today. Father, I need help staying focused on You. Let me be grounded in Your Word today. Jesus, thank You.

Buenos dias!

:)

You know, there is something incredibly empowering about walking . . . why do I stop? Huh. Let me just say here and now, I hate Satan. And I hate that I'm trapped in this old, earthly, stinking flesh. Between the two, I allow myself to fall again and again. I get too cocky and self-sure, and forget to ask for God's empowering and His strength. I am nothing without Him.

Nice walk this morning. I put together a good set of songs! Music and/or companionship make all the difference in the world when I'm walking.

I'm a little confused about the USDA's pyramid thing. According to it, I only need 2 1/2 cups of vegetables a day, and 1 1/2 cups of fruit. Together, that only makes four servings. What happened to 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day? I'm not sure what's going on!

It's just 8:00, and I've walked, made the bed, fixed breakfast for both Todd and James, I've had coffee and my fruit for the day, I made James's lunch, and I'm journaling. God, You're so good!

A lot of needs in our church right now. Desperate, life-changing needs. I think Satan's on the warpath at FRBC.

Lori Quick is talking about starting an aerobics class at the church, four days a week; two in the morning and two in the evening. What fun that would be! I would sign up in a heartbeat! :)

God, please allow me to be sensitive to Your will today. Please empower me to make godly choices, inspired by You. I want my focus to be You, today.

There is only You.

Adios!

:)

Yeah. I know.

I think I may have waited too long to get on here this morning. I'm already as cooled off as I'm going to get; my music has stopped, and I've got things to do before I leave for work this morning. Egads!

I'm approaching this with a different mind set this time, I hope. I wanted to do the right thing, but I think my reasoning was wrong. My focus was on me, even though the benefits for my husband were clear. My focus in this, just like everything else, needs to be on God. If I'm not doing what I'm doing for Him, through Him, because of Him, then I'm going to fail fast.

My desire has to be in what He wants for me, not what I want for myself. Some of what I want is okay; to be healthy and fit. Some of what I want is not -- to be sexy and desirable and shapely. My thought is what clothes I can fit into again and be a hot mama, whereas God wants my focus to be on housing His glory. Especially since He's brought my attention to the modesty/feminine area. Whoa!

So my concentration won't be on miles and points, so much as on pleasing God by time spent exercising this temple daily, and truly good nutrition.

God, I pray You will keep my teachable; that I won't be dulled to Your prompting!

:)

I'm still very intrigued by the relationship of the Trinity, One to Another. Father, Son, & Holy Spirit. Unity in its most perfect form. What an example to the fellowship of Believers . . . working together in perfect harmony.

Another nice walk this morning, and an even better time of prayer and praise. I can't think of a better time to walk than when I'm fellowshipping with my Lord. He is the *best* walking companion!

I had such fun in my applique class last night, although I still believe the way I was taught is a lot easier than trying to fold that mess under with a needle every step of the way! Except for stems -- those now make sense! A lot of discussion about bias last night. Good thing I know how to figure out where the bias is on a piece of fabric! Anyway, it was a fun time.

Jennifer got a new cat for the shop -- his name is Cash. I wonder if it was supposed to be "Johnny Cash," and they shortened it to Cash? He's Kitty Cash to me. :)

Tonight I am actually going to have dinner with my husband! How great is that? I don't think we've actually eaten dinner together since last Wednesday. Only tonight, I don't have to run off to a meeting!

This is the day that the Lord has made!! I will *rejoice* and be glad in it!!

Oh my soul!

:)

Hey -- before you jump on me, know that I *have* been journaling -- just not online. It doesn't matter where I journal, just that I *do* journal!

I had a nice walk this morning. Not too brisk; I wanted to be able to close my eyes in prayer when I needed to. What a sweet time of prayer. God, I'm so grateful to You. Praise You for Your perfect goodness.

Car wrecks, car vandalism, relationship break-ups, ministry opportunities, retreat planning; all that in the midst of regular life. Thank God I've got my Jesus to lean on. Thank You God.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Perfect unity. Jesus prayed that His disciples would experience that same unity and oneness. This is central to Christian fellowship. Unity. Of course, it can't be perfect this side of Heaven, but it can certainly be improved!

Rest beyond the river.

My God is so good.

Selah.

:)

Another day, another diet. Haha . . . just kidding, same diet. *grin*

I'm not sure what I'm thinking about today. I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure.

I love my husband.

I can see Jocelyn living a long, single life, and enjoying every God-ordained moment of it. But don't tell her I said that. I can just as easily see her as a godly wife and mom with four children, having a blast taking care of God's gift of a family. Wow. What will my Jocey be, say, in six years down the road?

Singleness is definitely *not* for James!

Repent, repent you sinners and vipers. That's not for anyone but me.

I'm in a strange mood today. Perhaps it's because of the weight watchers. I need to be diligent and non-manipulative with it this time. I WANT TO BE OBEDIENT. I hate failing.

I also hate feeling disconnected. Blah.

Oh! I did get the Round Robin yesterday! Yeay-rah! I'm in! It was a lot of fun to sit down last night and read all the letters. Whoohoo! Now it's my turn to write.

It's also my turn to get into the shower. I'm so discombobulated (?!?) today. God? Throw me a life line!

:)

I think it's time to try WW again. (For the umpteenth time.)

Lord, You know how much I want to be obedient in this area, and how *hard* it is for me. Please be my strength today; not my will power, but Your will power!!

And James. My sweet son, James. Lord, I lift him up to You. I pray You will continue to give him direction, Lord. Allow him to be sensitive to Your guidance; to be able to discern between his emotions and feelings, and Your direction. Speak to him in the quiet of his day, and allow him to hear You clearly.

I don't want to be a Jehu -- who starts off on fire and follows God's instructions to the letter, and destroys all the trappings of Baal worship, only to fall prey to the golden calf. I want my life to be a testimony of obedience. A visible testimony of obedience. Starting now!

Through the power of Jesus Christ.

:)

I let too many things interfere with my commitment to journal on a daily basis. It's a shame, I know, and I've really got no excuse. It's a shame because God has shown me some really cool things this week, and I should have been noting them as I learned them -- not waiting to play catch-up, at the week's end. Not to mention, God was pretty clear to me at the beginning of the year when He directed me to be faithful in journaling. Not *my* will, Lord, but YOURS be done. Except, I haven't done it. {sigh}

I want to relate to these girls. Lord, I really want to relate to them, and have them be able to relate to me. Father, what do You want? How do *You* want me to proceed??

I want to be skinny and healthy and fit. I'm tired of obesity. Blah. I spit it out of my mouth. (Unfortunately, the problem is the food that I *don't* spit out of my mouth!)

It's incredible to sit back and watch Jocelyn grow and lean on the Lord. It's the same with James. My children are growing up. I'm so humbled by how God has grown them and strengthened them, despite me. I'm so grateful; beyond words.

I love my husband so much. He cares for me -- in so many different aspects. Father, I praise You for him.

We had the Burketts over for dinner last night, and went out to dinner with the Wrights on Friday night. Wow! We had a great time both nights. It was so sweet to fellowship with brothers & sisters in Christ, outside of church! Friday night is Kasey & Greg's "guy" shower, which should be fun. Lord, please prepare me so that I can fulfill the role I'm supposed to fulfill that night!

I have 2.5 hours until we get to go back to church and sing with the Mike Spec Trio!!! I'm very excited!

And, a picture or two from our weekend getaway to Mountain Laurel Inn Bed & Breakfast in Mentone, Alabama (which I *highly* recommend)!!

This is the view from our cabin porch. It was *very* secluded, private, and romantic! The paved path leads from our porch back to the main house (where we ate breakfast).







This is a view of the falls, from the trail that ran from our door (practically). It was a breathtaking view; quite spectacular! It would be fun to go back in the spring, when rain had been more plentiful! It's been rather dry up in the mountains, and it was reflected in the waterfalls.

This final picture is from the other side of the falls. See the tiny little overhang, that juts out just below the trees? That's from where I took my picture of the falls. Good thing I took that picture first!

:)

There's a cave cricket somewhere down at my feet. *shudder*

In chapter one of Job, God asks Satan where he has come from.

Satan responds, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it." In 1 Peter 5:8 we get a fuller understanding of what Satan's been doing. ". . . like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." With that understanding, let's start the conversation over:

The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"

Satan responded, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it, like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant, Job? ..."

This just BLOWS me away! God knew what Satan was up to! God knew why Satan roamed the earth! God KNEW Job would withstand Satan's attack. I wonder if in keeping Satan busy with Job, some poor soul who *wasn't* up to the task of withstanding Satan's attack was spared (for the time being).

I just don't believe there's ever been a time when God could have substituted my name for Job's. As I look back at the trials and periods of testing I've faced (which are minute, to begin with), and how I responded, I'm so ashamed.

God is in control. God is in control. God is in control.

I am not.

The thing is, I shouldn't even want to be in control! I can't see before, during and after! I can't know what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around me (and those not around me). I don't have all the information!! How can you be in control if you don't have all the information??? Only God has all the information! Only God. God.

So why do I sometimes try and be in control? Why do I pretend that I'm capable of handling any given situation? I know perfectly well that I am not equipped to be in control. I certainly know that I'm not sovereign. What is it in my stubborn self that requires that I make a fool out of myself (more often than I'd care to admit), by trying to be in control?!?

I want God to be able to say to Satan, "Have you considered my servant, Denise? There is no one in the earth like her; she is blameless and upright, a woman who fears God and shuns evil."

Selah!

:)